Learning to Live Read online

  I’m very pleased with the colorful pattern that is permanently on my body as a remembrance of the most important person I’ve ever known. I look at Jasmine’s eyes through the mirror and nod my head while smiling. I put on my clothes in silence and discreetly dry my eyes while getting ready for my first college party.

  As I walk back to my frat house, I can’t help the excitement building with the idea of seeing Trudy again. I need to speak to my sister, who’s also a freshman in Stokes Hall, and see what she can find out about her for me. Looking down at my watch, I realize it’s getting late. I need to take a shower before a few of the other guys and I head out to the dorm parties. I’d promised Jazz that I would introduce her to a few friends of mine. Knowing her, she’ll have no problem making friends, but I still need to watch for idiots who want to mess with her.

  First thing I need to do, however, is talk with Craig about the dumbass move he pulled today. I’d been eyeing Trudy earlier and noticed Craig walking up to her. I couldn’t blame him for wanting to talk to her. She’s gorgeous, but with the way she keeps her eyes downcast it makes me think she doesn’t know her own appeal. The tight jeans and low cut T-shirt she wore made her sexier than any of the other girls. I was going to talk to her myself, but I didn’t want to mess with my frat brother’s game, even if I didn’t care for the guy. So I decided to watch instead.

  Instead of talking to her like a normal person, he decided to grope her ass. I felt possessive for some odd reason as I watched someone else touch her and was stunned by my reaction. When I started running to bust his face in, the little vixen brought him to his knees and was about to smash his nose, but my fist connected first. I hate busting heads as a first impression, but the dick deserved it.

  I finally reach my frat house and call for my best friend, David, when I walk in. He was there and helped Craig back here after Trudy went Ali on his ass. He comes down the stairs, ready to go for the evening with a big smile on his face.

  “What’s so funny?” I ask as I open the fridge for water. Since tonight I’ll most likely be drinking, I want to stay as hydrated as possible.

  “Nothing. Just thinking of Craig getting his ass handed to him by that girl. Man, that was something! Wish I had my camera out to record it for YouTube or some shit.” He sits on the counter and reaches for a bag of chips. “You should have let her finish him off.”

  “I know, I know, but the asshat needs to learn he can’t treat girls that way. Plus, I was thinking about if it were Jazz in her position. I’ll admit it was something else to watch though.” I finish my water and throw it in the trash. “Where is he anyway? I’ve got something I need to explain to him,” I say through clenched teeth, thinking of Trudy being touched by some asshole.

  “He’s in the shower nursing a black eye and a bruised set of balls. I don’t think he’ll approach another girl that way again.” He still laughs while eating his chips and talking with his mouth full. “Anyway, I saw the way you were eying that chick, and believe me, you don’t look at your sister that way. You practically turned green and ripped your shirt off while running toward her. Man, I thought he was dead when you hit him.”

  I scratch the back of my neck, thinking of a way to tell David how I feel a connection to this girl without sounding like a chick. “Yeah, I guess, but there is something about her. I don’t know. She’s crazy hot, but it’s something more than that. I feel like I need to know more about her. There’s this pull between us when I look at her.” I rub my face in frustration because it’s hard to describe the way I felt earlier. I feel very vulnerable telling anyone this, but I’ve known David since our freshman year. He’s my best friend, so I know he won’t judge me or think less of me.”Forget it, man. I’ll figure it out.”

  David and I have a lot in common like baseball, surfing, and of course chicks. We’re both from Florida. He’s from Miami and I’m from Pensacola, but where I grew up privileged, David didn’t.

  I might have grown up with money because my dad is a well known Pediatric surgeon, but I’m in no way stuck up. My family is number one, and I want to become a pediatric cardiologist just like my dad.

  I’ve always been around kids, sick or healthy. My mom is a social worker and our house has always been full of foster kids. Shit, I have four adopted brothers and sisters, Jazz being one of them.

  My parents couldn’t have any more children after I was born. They had always wanted a big family so they started fostering since they had the room and the finances. My sister, Jazz, was one of our first foster kids. We found her when she was two years old. She had a heart issue that my dad repaired, and instead of her remaining in the system, my parents decided to make her a Coleman.

  Drew is my little brother who’s fifteen now. He’s as tall as me at six foot three, and might even surpass me. The identity of his dad is a mystery, but we know he had to have been African American. Drew is biracial. His mom was a scared, white sixteen year old girl who needed money for her dope. Mom decided to take her up on a private adoption under the agreement she went to rehab and stayed for six months. Well, she did and now has a decent guy in her life and a family of her own. Drew sees his birth mother every few weeks and gets to hang out with his twin half-brothers, Dalton and Derek, who are now ten.

  McKenzie is my youngest sister and was adopted from Guatemala. She’s nine and has had my heart ever since we did a mission trip there with Dad. I was visiting the orphanage and saw this little girl scooting around on her hands and arms due to her under developed legs. She had the prettiest light brown eyes with tanned skin and dark black, curly hair.

  I was sitting reading to her when Mom walked in looking for me. When she saw McKenzie with me, she knew we had to take her home with us. So after three months of paperwork, we were finally reunited and our family added another Coleman to the group.

  Now she has a fancy pink and purple wheelchair that’s decorated with glitter and has so many friends that watch out for her at school I don’t have to worry as much. My baby brother Cohen was the last one to be adopted. He’s about to turn four in a few weeks—but he thinks he’s already old enough to drive—is smart as a whip, and loves the ladies. I like to think I had something to do with that.

  Jazz and he could definitely pass as siblings with their blond hair and blue eyes, but on occasion people mistake him for her son. She doesn’t seem to mind, though, and eats up the attention. He was left outside the hospital where my mom works at only a few days old and had no ID on him. DHR eventually let us foster him once his bill of health came back okay, but of course we made him an official Coleman after six months.

  David just listens while I talk and knows I like to take on the underdog at times. I’m sure he’ll think that’s my reason for having this connection with Trudy. I know that it goes way deeper than that. I just don’t know how deep and the not knowing scares the shit out of me.

  “Cool, man. Did you get her name or some digits?” He stands up and stretches while crumbs fall everywhere.

  I can’t help but smile when I think of her. “Her name is Trudy and she’s staying in the same dorm as Jazz, so I’m hoping I can get some info tonight or at least put Jazz on the watch for her. She’s feisty and wouldn’t let me walk her to her dorm. Fingers crossed I’ll see her at the party tonight,” I say while turning to head upstairs to shower.

  “Well, I’ll be hanging out back with Mason when you’re ready. He’s heading home tonight and won’t be here for the party. Just let me know.” David and I bump fist as he heads out to talk with some of the other brothers in the house. I smile while going up to take a shower, hoping I’ll run into Trudy tonight.

  Passing a few frat brothers on the way, I see Craig’s sidekick Harold heading from Craig’s room with a beer in hand. He’s an alright guy but can’t seem to get his nose out of Craig’s ass long enough to speak for himself. I stop him with an urge for revenge. “Hey, Harold. Where’s Craig?”

  He looks at me warily, and I see him gulp. This kid is no match for me,
so I’d never lay a hand on him, but I like the fact that I intimidate him. Let’s face it. I’m a guy. After a minute he finally composes himself and speaks. “Hey, Jaxon. Um he’s still in the shower but asked me to get him another beer.” He shakes the brown empty bottle to prove his point. I guess he’s scared that I’ll think he’s a liar.

  Walking past Harold I slam open Craig’s door to make him aware someone’s coming. The last thing I need to see is him jacking off or some shit. Craig’s rich daddy made sure his stupid pansy ass son got the only room with an en suite bathroom attached while everyone else has to share. Doesn’t bother me though because this way he can keep away from me, and after today it’s in his best interest.

  “What the fuck, Harold? I told you to leave it on the bedside table,” Craig yells through the door, but I ignore his tantrum and bust inside the steam filled bathroom. The shower is causing fog to consume the small space, but I know the dip shit is behind the black shower curtain.

  “Hey, pussy, it’s not Harold.” He shuts off the water before he opens the curtain and shows me things I really don’t want to see in my life. Thankfully he wraps his lower half in a towel.

  “What the hell do you want?” He’s got balls talking to me like that. Why am I so pissed at this guy for touching a girl I don’t know and have no relationship with? The only logical explanation is because he’s a dick and no woman should be handled like that.

  Pointing my finger at him as he steps out of the shower, I say menacingly, “Don’t you fucking dare act like you don’t know. You don’t touch any female, unless she’s compliant, in any sexual way. You hear me mother fucker?”

  He gulps before he smiles like the little bitch he is and clucks his tongue at me. God I hate this guy. “Jaxon Coleman. Do have hope to fuck her too? Because I don’t mind sharing if that’s the case.” He winks before he takes out his razor and turns his back toward me in a dismissive manner.

  “Watch it, you stupid fuck. Or I’ll have your ass removed from the fraternity. Got it?” Without waiting for a reply that will just piss me off more, I walk out and see the fresh beer on the night stand. Since my words and threats won’t work on the condescending prick, maybe I’ll ruin his night another way.

  I’m sitting on my bed waiting for Jasmine so we can leave and head to the party that I can already hear through my window. The music is loud and girls are screaming, but the only thing I can concentrate on is how nervous I am. I don’t want to stand out, so I decide that I’ll only have one drink. I don’t like being the center of attention, so I definitely won’t dance. Then again, I want to just let go and be a college student, but I don’t know how. After I moved in with Brad, I did party some, but not to the degree he did. When I found out I was pregnant, I gave up partying to focus on the baby and school. I wanted to be the best mother I could be and show Brian everyday that I would take care of him and protect him from harm. I feel like I let him down by staying with Brad for so long, but I don’t know what other options I had.

  I take one last look at myself in the mirror and run my fingers through my hair. I pulled it to the side in a low pony tail but straightened my bangs and swept them to the side of my face. I put my diamond nose stud in and slide on my white, wedge sandals. I’m only wearing light make up because it’s crazy hot in August, and I know I’ll be sweating from the humidity. My blue jean shorts are fringed around the edges, and I roll my shirt sleeves up to my elbow. After I’m done inspecting myself for the hundredth time, Jasmine knocks on my door and comes in wearing a pink sundress with a white high waist belt and white peep toe heels. Even with the heels she still only reaches my shoulders.

  “Wow, Tru, you look hot.” I’m slightly embarrassed by the compliment because I’m not used to them, but then I concentrate on the name she called me.

  Tru was something only Ms. Freeman called me. She always said since she never found someone to marry, God gave her me and I was her Tru Love. I never thought I would hear it again.

  “Thanks, Jasmine. You look pretty hot yourself,” I say awkwardly, biting my lip. She can tell I’m nervous, but she doesn’t say anything about it. Thank goodness because I might just breakdown into tears.

  “Duh, girl! Don’t I know it.” She tilts her head and puts her hands on her hips. “Do me a favor, though. Call me Jazz since you’re my new friend, and let’s have fun tonight. My brother will watch out for us, and I want you to smile tonight. You look like you could use a few in your life. And that’s why you were blessed with moi.” She finishes by doing a fancy curtsy and then grabs me into a hug. I’ve been hugged more today than I have throughout the last three years.

  As we head downstairs, she tells me she’s from Pensacola and grew up on the water. I’ve never seen the ocean unless you count magazines or TV, but I’m hoping to while I’m here. After I make this confession, she looks at me like I’m crazy and asks if I want to go home with her Labor Day weekend. It’s also her baby brother’s fourth birthday and her family is having a huge party. I’m not sure how to answer her, but then I’m not paying attention as she continues to talk. I see Jaxon coming toward us with a huge smile on his face and feel the same attraction build from before.

  Jazz doesn’t seem to be paying attention to anything but her story. At first I think he’s about to approach me until he puts his finger to his lips to ask me to silently be quiet. I watch with unexpected envy while he covers Jazz’s eyes from behind. It’s then that I notice how tall he is.

  I feel that envy turn into jealousy and feel stupid. I guess this must be her boyfriend. Why wouldn’t she have a sexy boyfriend? Let’s face it, she’s gorgeous. I tell myself to be happy for her because they seem to fit and continue trying to shake off this unwanted emotion. Don’t be stupid, Trudy. You’re not here to date, remember? Who cares if they’re a couple? I repeat this in my head and mentally shake myself for being so ridiculous.

  Jazz gets really quiet when her eyes get covered and she tries to turn, but Jaxon won’t let her. “Guess who?” His voice is playful while he looks at me, showing off his sexy smile and a cute dimple on the left.

  Jazz huffs out a breath and says in a no-nonsense tone. “This damn well better be, Jaxon, because if it’s not, I’m about to throw down like Charlie Brown.” She spins around and is engulfed in his arms while smiling and squealing the whole time.

  I feel like an intruder while they have their moment, so I decide to turn around and walk away but stop when a huge hand lands on my shoulder. I look over my shoulder and Jaxon is right behind me, still smiling. I steel myself as well as my legs so they won’t give out. How can just his smile do this to me?

  “Trudy,” he whispers my name almost like a caress, and I stand there like an idiot in a daze.

  “Do you two know each other?” I shake off his hold, remembering we’re not alone and look over Jaxon’s shoulder. Jazz is grinning from ear to ear instead of giving me a pissed off look that I was expecting. She should be mad at me for the way I was checking out her boyfriend. However, she seems genuinely happy for some odd reason.

  Jaxon runs his hands through his hair and scratches the back of his neck while he continues to smile at me. “Yeah, we met earlier, and I gave Trudy directions to the dorm.” He finally turns and looks at Jazz. “How do you two know each other?”

  “She’s my new bathroom neighbor and best friend. I texted you earlier and told you that I was bringing a friend with us tonight. I didn’t realize you two had already met though. Small world, huh?” Jazz is still smiling at him while hooking her arm through mine.

  We begin to walk toward all the commotion outside, and I’m still not sure why they’re both so cheerful. I start to panic as a thought enters my brain. God, what if they are swingers or something? I mean, do whatever floats your boat, but I’m not into that stuff. I’m being ridiculous. Obviously they’re happy when they’re around each other. I’ll just play it by ear as the night goes on. Then I notice the same guy who helped asshole up earlier walking next to Jaxon. He’s cute wi
th shaggy blond hair, bright blue-grey eyes, and gives off a surfer vibe with his tan and relaxed walk. Both Jaxon and he are wearing khaki shorts with sandals and some sort of logo T-shirt. Of course, Jaxon is hotter than surfer guy.

  Just thinking that Jaxon is good looking is stupid, and now I’m thinking of the incident from earlier. I start to get pissed off and ask him, “So, where’s your asshat friend who has a problem with personal space?”

  Jaxon and surfer guy burst out laughing. I’m having a hard time understanding what’s so funny, so I turn toward Jazz, but she looks just as lost. They finally stop long enough for Jaxon to tell me. “Well, you see a black eye and a bruised nut sac just wasn’t enough for good ol’ Craig. So being the good frat brother that I am, I put a few squirts of eye drops in the beer he was nursing earlier. If he finished it, then he’ll be up all night with the shits.”

  I can’t help but laugh too when I picture asshole running around somewhere clenching his butt cheeks together. I turn and Jazz asks me what happened earlier so I tell her. “He was just about to get a busted nose, but then your boyfriend beat me to it.” I continue laughing until I notice her look of confusion. “What?”

  She continues to look at me like I’m crazy then asks, “Boyfriend? What boyfriend?”

  I’m not sure what she means by that question until I hear both guys burst out laughing again. Then it hits me. I feel like a complete moron because they’re obviously not dating. I now remember Jazz mentioning her brother meeting us tonight, and it must be Jaxon.